My shadow speaks!

Have you ever wondered what your shadow would say, if it could only speak? Well, I found out last night.

After my dance class, I decided to do some window shopping along Granville Road in TST on my way to my bus stop. The first place I saw had a few fashionable looking mannequins out front, so I went in.

Feeling the fabric of a black halter top betwen my fingers, I heard a small voice behind me say, “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Um, yea…” I muttered, continuing to touch and feel a few other tops.

I moved onto a silky dress, hmm, smooth…I wonder if it comes in- “It comes in black too,” the little voice pipped, this time even closer.

“Hm…” The moment I touched another sheer polka-dot shirt dress, I heard, “That’s what I’m wearing now.”

Snapping out of my daze, I looked to my right and saw a pair of big black eyes staring up at me. “Shall I get you a new one?”

“Um, can you just let me have a look first?” I asked.

Looking deadbeat and bored, the itsy-bitsy HK salesgirl dressed all in black complied, but continued to follow me within millimetres, to the point where I was tempted to fake a muscle spasm just so I could somehow elbow her out of my personal space.

When I left the store, she stood in the doorway like a pale ghost, her quiet voice fading as she said, “What’s wrong, didn’t you like it…?”

Shisha Roach!

I thought my place was immune from cockroaches, thanks to monthly ‘pest control’ sprayfests, but look what I found on the balcony just a couple nights ago!!!

(Yes, that is a cockroach enjoying shisha…)

A tribute to cockroaches

It’s quite sad, actually. Looking at their little brown bodies, some long gone, flattened, dried up and flaking off the ground, others freshly squashed with a blob of yellow goo sitting right next to their corpses.

I must admit, I’m no cockroach lover but I do feel sorry for them. I mean, I would never, I repeat, NEVER, step on one (for fear of projectile puking instantaneously afterwards) but that doesn’t stop other people from giving them a big, CRUNCHY, triumphant stomp. Yes, they’re hideous, annoying, and just plain frightening, but have you ever took the time to try to understand them?

Here are some little known facts about our shiny, brown friends:

  1. The most common cockroach we see on the streets is actually AMERICAN (!).
  2. Cockroaches average 4cm in length (obviously, the HK ones are way above average).
  3. They have two eyes with over 2000 individual lenses each.
  4. They are one of the fastest insects in the world – about 50 body lengths per second, which would be comparable to a human running at 330 km/h!!
Human vs. Cockroach

Chinese donut, anyone?

I couldn’t help laughing when I read the following news item:

Blind Hong Kong wife pours hot congee on cheating husband’s groin

Not only did she splash his nekkid genitals with boiling hot congee, she even attempted to destroy his little armies forever by putting female hormones into his drinks! A great lesson for cheaters, I must say.

Upon further analysis, a few other thoughts surfaced in my mind…

  • She’s got pretty good aim for someone who’s blind
  • Why the hell was he sleeping naked?
  • Was she already blind when they got married??
  • Why did she think he was cheating on her?
  • Will he ever be able to eat congee again (or god forbid, a chinese donut)??


Back to humidity

After a blissful week in Europe, I am now back in the sweltering heat of Hong Kong. While I was gone, I missed out on:

  • another acid attack in Mong Kok
  • falling loudspeakers from the sky (also in MK)
  • getting run over by a minibus (also in MK)

Nice! On a serious note though, it’s really a shame that so much sh*t is going on in MK. It’s such an awesome place and the perfect place for feeding my gadget addiction. Whether that’s worth risking all of the above is another question!

The search for paradise continues…

Coming to Hong Kong from Europe, I’ve often heard the term ‘paradise’ attached to various beaches in Asia, including Bali (of coz) and several others in Malaysia and the Philippines. Usually, the term makes you think of creamy white sand, crystal clear water and a coconut-husk hut, like this:

I found all that, but the most important thing related to paradise failed to show up: the SUN. And when it did peek out of the haze for a precious 45 mins, I got sunburnt so bad my skin turned bright red like a cheap piece of artificial crab.

In MY idea of paradise, the beach is quiet, secluded, and very, very calm. Unfortunately, where we went, our resort neighbours were loud and young, the skies were grey and the waters choppy following several consecutive rain storms. Add to that some broken flip flops, medicine bottles and random bits of paper washing up on shore, and you can kiss that idea of ‘paradise’ goodbye! ~_-

Guess I’ll have to keep looking for that little spot of paradise, although I’m beginning to think that it’s not gonna be in Asia… (*cough* Greece! *cough*)

Mobile lust

I must admit, I’ve never felt this way about a phone before. But how could you blame me? Look at this beauty!!

The Sony Ericsson W995 finally came out today, and I’m dying to get it. Only question is… do I really need 4 working mobile phones? Psshh – OF COURSE I do! This is Hong Kong, after all… 😉

On another note, I’m flying off to paradise tonight and hope to return as a gingerbread woman. Wish me luck!

Red rubber gloves

Last Friday, I was super hungry in the afternoon so I went downstairs and crossed the road into this little shop selling (bad) bubble tea and other snacks like sausage-on-a-stick.

I ended up ordering one of my latest addictions – Peanut Butter & Condensed Milk Toast – and stood by the open kitchen to wait. I was a little spaced out but eventually my eyes focused on a woman who was even more spaced out than me.

With half-closed eyelids and a painfully bored expression on her face, she held a thick piece of toast on her left palm while spreading peanut butter on it with her right.

The thing was, she was wearing these big red, rubber dishwashing gloves, and there was nothing separating the piece of bread from her sloppy wet glove.

“That’s okay…” I said to myself. “Maybe they wear those gloves in the kitchen only to handle food, cuz y’know, bubble tea is wet and all…or maybe that bread isn’t even for me…”

The bored lady then chucked the bread into the toaster oven, picked up a dirty rag, and walked into the dining area. I kept my eyes on her as I watched her wipe tables (still wearing those rubber gloves), pick up someone’s leftover bowl of noodles, her thumb deeply submerged in the noodle soup, and walk back into the kitchen area with soup splashing all over her hand.

She then proceeded to open a can of condensed milk with the red rubber gloves, no doubt getting the sticky substance all over her hands, and then used it to slather over the toast. Finally, she put it in a box, pulled a rubber band around it and gave it to me.

At this point, I was thoroughly disgusted and there was no way I was gonna eat that, so I told another woman there (who seemed to be the bosslady), “Uhh.. your staff’s wearing those rubber gloves to make food AND clean the restaurant.. don’t you think that’s just a *LITTLE* unhygienic??” (not sure if she got my sarcasm there)

She replied, “Oh, they only wear those gloves in the kitchen-” but I snapped back, “I SAW her use them to wipe tables just now!!”

The bosslady said “Okay okay” and told another girl (also wearing red gloves) to make me another one, this time without gloves. So she peels off her gloves, and then used her moist, stinky and mildewy hands to make the toast again…

Ugh!! ~_~