Doodles
Little Miss Blockhead
There’s a girl in my building whom I just had to immortalize into drawing. I see her maybe once a week, sometimes less, but each time, I’m shocked at how BIG her head is. Not only is it big, it’s also totally block-shaped, thanks to her square jaw and thick, black hair that’s cut and blown in the shape of a box.
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Stupid happy blockhead |
Sometimes, I’ll see her strutting down the street alone with a big goofy smile on her face, apparently feeling very happy about herself despite not having anyone around (that always creeps me out) but once our eyes meet and she catches me staring, her expression immediately darkens and she casts a glare at me like she wants me dead!
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Angry blockhead |
I could be wrong, but her glare also seems to say, “What are you staring at, you jealous of what I got?!” It’s downright creepy and I usually divert my eyes right away. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I highly doubt it as my colleague has spotted her before and got “the chills” too. What have I ever done to you, Little Miss Blockhead?
Cockroach CSI: Death by Coffee Drowning
As mentioned before, I am a total cockroach magnet. At my old job, the cockroaches LOVED my corner cubicle and now, we share our tiny SoHo office space with a very fertile family of miniature roaches, who have been spotted anywhere from my desk to the cubicle walls to the secretary’s phone.
Luckily, the mini roaches mostly come out at night when we’ve all gone home for the day, but sometimes the next morning, we’ll find them in the strangest places — like in our coffee mugs. Yup, one morning, I found two dead roaches in the bottom of my coffee mug when I was rinsing it out, and I’m guessing it went a little like this:
Big Roach tells Little Roach how nice it would be to go skinny dipping in a creamy cup of Hong Kong style coffee.
Little Roach struggles to keep afloat in the coffee, while Big Roach relishes in the fact that there’ll soon be one less mouth to feed in the “megaherd” of roaches, meaning more crumbs for him!
Banana and peanut lady in Central
I wanted to blog about this old lady in Central over a YEAR ago when I first started working in that area, and thankfully, she is still around for me to blog about today. No offense to her at all but she is probably near 100 years old if not older, and I really hope that she has a lot more years to live!
Located on the corner of Gage Street and Lyndhurst Terrace, the Banana and Peanut Lady is a withering old Chinese woman with sunken-in cheeks and a thin black ponytail. She sells bananas and peanuts next to the fruit stand across 7-11 and is usually there for most of the day. I don’t know why she’s still working as she’s so fragile and petite, but my guess is that she’s been there all her life and likes it(?) or has to do it to sustain herself (in which case we should all give her a little extra for her bananas and peanuts).
She’s usually wearing a traditional two-piece Chinese outfit in all black, and now that the weather’s cooler she has an extra coat on. I also noticed that her thumbnails are super long, as opposed to her pinky fingernails. Maybe I’ll work up the courage to ask her what she’s doing there the next time I pass by… (I know, I’m shy)!
Cockroach CSI: Death by Tobacco
No matter what time of year it is in Hong Kong, you’re likely to see one of the city’s most infamous tenants crawling around: the cockroach. In the summer, they are out in full force, scurrying along sidewalks, climbing up the walls, and sometimes (if you’re unlucky) flying right into your line of sight.
Now that it’s winter though, cockroach sightings are much more rare, but that doesn’t mean they’re gone. In fact, most of the times I see cockroaches these days is when they’re dead. Squished, flattened, stomped on, or worse, have you ever wondered what actually happened right before the cockroach was killed?
Introducing … Cockroach CSI: an investigation into the lives (and death) of our city’s rampant roaches. First up is a cockroach I saw in Wanchai last year, an image that I will never forget as it was such a vivid one.
I was on Jaffe Road right across Joe Bananas when I looked down before crossing the street. And, there, right next to my foot was a dead cockroach on its back, clutching onto a cigarette butt. I kid you not, his six legs were literally wrapped around the cigarette butt!
Say NO to Butt Munching Pants
I’m no fashionista, but I think I have a pretty good sense of what looks bad on me, and therefore, on other people. And what usually looks bad horrific are BUTT MUNCHING PANTS.
I encountered an extremely active butt munching pant the other day as I was walking behind this woman in the MTR, and I just couldn’t stop myself from staring at her butt. Granted, I’m usually staring at people’s butts (hey, it started in high school) not out of perviness but just because it’s the most interesting and dynamic part of a person’s backside (it’s big, it moves, it usually has a face, etc.), wouldn’t you agree?
Hong Kong Beggars: Beggar on a buggy
The other day, I was walking along the bridge to Central Pier when I came across a Hong Kong beggar lying face down near the entrance to IFC on the Apple Store side. He seemed “normal” enough: missing both legs, dressed in dark clothing, with disheveled short black hair. As usual, no one took notice, and since I was in a rush to get to The Watermark, I sped walked my way past too.
On my way back though about an hour later, I found myself walking behind a guy in a mini-buggy, which was essentially a motorized red tin box on three wheels, and guess who was driving? The same legless beggar as before!!
Usually, I try not to stare long or do double takes with beggars since it might make them self conscious, but I couldn’t help it when I walked past this beggar on a buggy. Not only was he in possession of a pretty awesome ride, he was also checking text messages on his phone, which despite being a Nokia had a pretty pimpin’ gold keypad.
I walked next to his buggy for a while to see if I could read his text messages (I couldn’t), and to verify if it was in fact the same guy, which I’m pretty sure of since he was missing legs at the same spot as the other guy.
Suddenly, I didn’t feel so bad for him anymore. Could it be, that he is perfectly okay with the way he is? Texting his wife to tell her he’ll be home tonight earlier than usual? Or is he plotting with his pimp where he’ll lie face down to pull at our heart strings next? And … where does he usually hide his buggy? Oh mysteries…
A crotch cabaret at BISOUS
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Canadian vs. Hong Kong beggars
Genius, isn’t it?! By adding the “I am sorry,” the person passing by goes from thinking, ‘Go get a job, you selfish bum’ to ‘Oh well, since you’re sorry, I guess it’s not your fault, here’s some change, ya poor thing’.
In front of him, a little tent card read, “Facing eviction. If you CHOOSE to give … thank you. NOT for drugs or alcohol.” That was enough to get me to give him a toonie ($2), since it’s the least I could do to help keep a fellow Canadian off the streets.
OK, so whether he was telling the truth or not isn’t really the point. The point is that his sign worked, so maybe the real lesson here is — Hong Kong beggars should use signs…and instead of begging for money using the shock factor, they should just write down what they want from us, like:
- “1 Big Mac, Not for pimp”
- “Need bowl of ramen, I am sorry”
- “I want BBQ pork, Have a nice day”
With signs like these, how could anyone (with a heart) say no?