It’s lychee season and since I have been eating an insane amount of them (no nosebleeds yet!) I was inspired to draw this:
My tribute to Joshua Wong, the 17-year-old political activist in Hong Kong who may scrawny and nerdy-looking, but an inspiration to so many (including me). Read more about him here.
So you may have already heard about (or seen) this impossibly pointy haired man shaping his hairstyle in the MTR, and the way he did so with the exaggerated movements seemed so ridiculous that I was pretty sure he wasn’t real (ie. that it was a prank of some sort).
But lo and behold, while I was in the 24-hour Wellcome’s cookie aisle last night, I saw Mr. Pointy Hair himself next to me checking out the cracker options.
I couldn’t help but get excited at the sight of him and the pyramid of hair that sat on top of his head. Stiff and full of gel or hairspray, or both.
He seemed to notice the stares (as he kept looking at me), probably because I kept glancing at him too. And something told me that he must know that he’s become somewhat of an internet sensation, because he seemed to welcome the attention as he walked through the aisles.
For those who have yet to view him in action, here it is:
You know that idiot who rushes into the MTR at the very last second when the doors are going doot-doot-doot-doot-doot and gets caught right in between, forcing the doors to bounce back open and the entire MTR train to stall, not to mention all the other trains behind it?
…yup. That was me.
I never thought it would be, but I blame my super sound-proof earbuds from Samsung and a particularly juicy email I was reading on my phone. As usual, I was following a massive crowd into the MTR, with no clue of how many seconds had passed since the doors had first opened, and before I knew it, I was being violently shoved to the left and squished in between the two platform doors.
What’s worse — my middle finger (which happens to be the longest part of me when squished, good to know) was caught in the actual MTR doors, and I can only imagine what the people on the inside were thinking as they stared at my lone finger poking through.
Time stood still as I wondered whether anyone would notice that I was stuck, and whether the train would suddenly take off with my middle finger (hopefully not as it’s got my favourite ring on it!). It was a little like being Hans Brinker — you know, the Dutch boy who plugged a leaky dam with his finger — only I was clogging up the MTR trains with mine.
The whole time, I made sure to avoid eye contact and keep a blank expression on my face as if nothing strange was happening (the way a true Hong Konger would) until finally, the doors sprung back open and I was freeeee!!!
PS. For anyone wondering what it feels like to be squished by the MTR doors, they’re actually much stronger than they look! Don’t expect them to be like elevator doors that spring open at the lightest touch — these doors can and will probably crush old people with osteoporosis (so drink your milk, kids!). I got two giant bruises on both arms after this incident, so watch out! 😦
In my ongoing quest to become more Chinese, I’m picking up my Canto-learning again, one step at a time. That means listening to more Cantopop on KKBOX (reading lyrics really helps) and taking note of any interesting phrases I come across.
One of them is 海皮 — “hoi pei”, which means sea shore. I first heard it when taxi drivers would ask me if I wanted to go home via the highway or the “hoi pei”, and it’s never not sounded funny to me.
In my head, I just can’t help visualizing it as literally the “ocean skin” since “海” means ocean and “皮” means skin. Am I crazy?? To be fair, “ocean skin” is a super accurate description of the sea shore as the “skin” can be anything from sandy and bumpy to smooth and layered.
To use this word, simply tell your taxi driver, “NO highway, YES hoi-pei!” Other suggestions welcome!
- Chinese Santa
- Frosty in HK
- Curry Fishmas
- Rudolph vs. Rudie
- All I Want for Xmas is… (Dim Sum!)
(Please excuse my anatomically incorrect drawings as I have no idea what an upskirt photo actually looks like)
1. Make ’em bleed
2. Give ’em shit
3. Create a hairy situation
4. Tell ’em to F*CK OFF!
5. Put on a pair of bootie shorts FFS!
Okay, so if you really are so concerned about someone looking up your oh-so-precious crotch, either DON’T wear such a freaking short skirt and/or put on one of them bootie shorts (they are sold at most places that sell leggings).
However, I did see a rather upbeat and jolly beggar a few weeks ago in Tin Hau just outside the MTR station on King’s Road. He had picked a good location, since sizable crowds would gather while waiting to cross the busy intersection.
At first glance, the Tin Hau Harmonica Elbow Beggar (you’ll understand the name soon) looked like a normal person who was just playing the harmonica out of his elbows (a way to get attention perhaps) but upon closer inspection, I realised that he didn’t have any forearms — just little stumps after the elbow joint.