Fruit Fail

Each week, my company hands fruit out to us in the form of a couple of bananas, tasteless water pears, crater-faced oranges, battle-scarred plums and the like. Even though I don’t usually enjoy being treated like a caged zoo animal, I’ve learned to start looking forward to the arrival of the mystery fruit each week on my desk.

Today was one of those days. I could hear the thunderous wheels of the trolley coming down the hall. My mouth started to salivate at the thought of sinking my teeth into a juicy apple, plum or pear. This time, it didn’t matter as my stomach had been growling all morning. I watched in eager anticipation as the tea lady bent over the cardboard box, picked up a piece of fruit and walked over to my desk.

This is what she gave me (with a hearty cackle on the side):

I’m a fruit, eat me!

At first, I was slightly amused. It seemed to be some kind of Asian pear / orange wrapped up in a netted foam jacket. But then I proceeded to hold and touch the thing and it turned out to be a stupid-useless-waste of trees-post-it note-THING in the shape of an orange!!

I’M INEDIBLE, SUCKA!!

Surely, this was a joke right? What happened to the fruit? Does the company think this is funny? Srsly? And do we really need another stack of useless post-it notes (no matter how cute)?! The more I looked at it, the more I craved fruit, whether it was a sweet juicy orange or dried up plum. Sadly though, this was no joke, and the tea ladies cackled their way out of our office, on their way to disappoint (or delight?) the rest of the floor.

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