Memoirs of a Four-Eyes

On the eve of my Lasik surgery, I thought I’d reflect a little on my 20+ years as a four-eyes. I know it might not be that special since about 70-90% of Asians are near-sighted, so perhaps my bespectacled memories are shared by many others out there, including:

  • Getting hit in the face with various balls (basketballs, American footballs, tennis balls, etc.) and having my glasses knocked off
  • Waking up and patting the side of the bed for my glasses, getting increasingly pissed (Good f##king Morning, eh?!), giving up about 10 frustrating minutes later and not actually finding those damned things until 2-3 days later in some remote wall/mattress/ass crack
  • Mistaking my cat(s) as cushions and/or pillows, or not seeing them at all (*miao!!*)
  • Feeling a tad fearful of getting mugged/robbed/raped or worse if anyone ever were to steal my glasses (yes I’m that blind)
  • Seeing my eyes shrink 40% once they are behind prescripted lenses (a la Milhouse)
  • Being reminded that I don’t really have a nose, as indicated by my glasses perpetually sliding to the bottom of my small stump

I’ve now been wearing glasses for 2 weeks straight (after years of only wearing contacts daily), and I actually don’t think they are that bad after all…but I’m still super excited/nervous about tomorrow. I’ll try to post an update once it’s done (just not immediately of course, haha). Wish me luck! 🙂

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