how to dance funky

When I first moved to Hong Kong, I was eager to find a place to continue my dance lessons, which I had taken regularly in NL with the one and only, amazing Eszteca! Unfortunately, I quickly found out that Hong Kong had taken dance lessons and packaged them as yet another weight-loss fad, just like they had done with yoga (grrrr!).

Take a look at the Hong Kong Funky Dance Centre, founded by a lady who proudly advertises that she lost 25 lbs of baby weight in 8 weeks by simply bustin’ a (funky) move.  The centre strongly emphasizes the fat-burning power of funky dance, using extreme success stories complete with graphic imagery here and here (nice pose, eh?).

You might be wondering, what is ‘Funky Dance’ anyway? I’d never heard of it before coming to HK, as it certainly wasn’t a type of dance that Eszteca taught… In my mind, the term made me think of a bunch of nerds doing the Funky Chicken dance… but thanks to YouTube, I now know that funky dance is done by gay men (and women who want to dance like gay men) dressed in bright, neon colours who bounce around doing group aerobics with giddy smiles plastered on their faces, thinking that they’re actually dancing.

Exhibit 1:

Uh…yea. That is definitely not my style. (To see what real dancing looks like, watch THIS – 2:30~3:45 is absolutely dope!!)

Anyway, during my search, I also came across Dancing Fit, another one of these dance-for-weight-loss centres. Here’s a look at some of their class names and descriptions (thank you Google Translate):

Hip Hop with YIP  (-Pio and Yippy Yay)
The use of heavy beats of Hip Hop music, out of street style. Focused abdominal movements (ABS), focus on abdominal and thigh fat burning, increase exercise capability, and wishing to tighten the abdominal line, the effect is particularly noticeable. YO YO YO, Let’s Come!

Latino Jam with TAKKO (and his sidekicks Nacho & Burrito)
Mainly through a variety of Latin dance steps, in a warm and relaxed rhythm of Latin music, freely swinging the body, strengthen the confidence and training of memory.

Slim Punking with MING (cuz punks can’t be fat)
It is vibrant and a dynamic rhythm-based dancing, focuses on the waist and hand movements, Kawaii style, it is time to say “bye bye meat”!!!!

House Sweating with SOYA (purse egg is optional)
Interesting, lively and light, the use of disco beat dance music, with foot-based action, may tighten the buttocks and leg lines, the high amount of exercise to help quickly sweat, heart and lung function. You will find that he had never been so light.

Boy, do I miss taking real dance classes… *sigh*

7 thoughts on “how to dance funky

  1. I do not think this will ever get old. People will never understand that it does not really matter what you do to loose weight, as long as you do it consistently. You can walk fast, run, dance, use whatever machine, change your diet to something healthier.

    People will always buy funky machines, expensive wonder pills, believe in miracles and eternal youth as promised by the advertising, and spend millions to support an industry that would not exist if people would either say “I do not want to do something three times a week for the rest of my life, but want to continue eating a lot, and therefore rather stay fat than spending money for nothing” or really do something about it.

  2. i think i have a couple of colleagues who joined this kinda funky dance center and i've tried attending once, and the class i attended taught a decent beginner's hiphop. not bad…no funky chicken dance…

    there are other dance centers if you really wanna do dancing…ones to watch, etc etc etc…but too hard for me, i can only follow level I :p heheheh 😉

  3. hey miss fong… what's with you and your accusations towards the gay community? are you homophobic? or at least having some sort of internal homophobia? maybe u just don't wanna admit you're into girls deep down inside. oh wait… how come you don't have a photo.. i guess you are “straight” now and don't want anyone else to see what you look like after your transformation becoming the bitchiest tranny in hong kong. Congrats!

  4. Hi Miss Fong!Did you manage to find some decent dance classes in HK?I have trouble looking for a good one too 😦

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